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I'd
Be Happy To! This is a delightful game that
teaches the children to listen and to respond in a positive
way immediately. Whenever mom or dad asks a child
to do something and the child responds with a smile
and a cheery face and says, 'I'd be happy to!'
and then goes immediately and does what was requested,
the child is rewarded immediately with $1.00 in Kudo
Kash. If the parent catches the child (the child forgets
and does not respond happily with, 'I'd be happy
to!') then the rule might require the child
to give 25 cents in Kudo Kash to the parent. Payoffs
are given immediately. Use good judgment; make it very
worthwhile for the child to play, but not too easy.
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Obedience
and Quick Response Whenever a parent makes
a request or gives directions to a child and the child
responds and complies immediately, before the parent
must repeat or tell the child a second time, the child
earns one Kudo Kash dollar. This is to teach the concept
of what it means to be immediately obedient .
This game teaches children to respond immediately without
asking why or delaying for any reason. A parent will
deliberately set up scenarios throughout the day that
will give the child the opportunity to be obedient immediately
and be rewarded. When the child obeys quickly, he or
she is rewarded immediately. If the child does not respond
and fails to earn the reward the parent might explain
that the situation was a test and that although he or
she forgot to respond immediately there will
probably be another chance later on in the day to pass
the test and get a reward. This is a great game to instill
in the mind of a child exactly what it is to be immediately
obedient. You might promise to give them five chances
to earn five Kudo dollars that day by demonstrating
they understand what it means to be immediately obedient.
The parent should explain that immediate obedience is
absolutely necessary in a dangerous situations such
as a fire in the home when immediate obedience is absolutely
necessary to save lives. |
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Hugs
This involves hugging each member of the family at least
once or twice during that day and telling them that you
love them. You can give 25 cents per hug or a Kudo dollar
at the end of the day if they remembered to hug everyone.
In some homes people just don't hug any more. Hugging
is therapeutic and can be a wonderful way to express our
love for each other. Don't forget to hug your kids and
each other often. Everybody needs hugs and kids
need lots of them! |
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Take Turns
and Share This game is about being polite and
courteous (sharing our things with others and giving them
a turn). When the children are observed sharing and taking
turns and being courteous and respectful to each other
they get rewarded. When they forget and are contentious
they can be given a Warning Card (25 cents in Kudo Kash)
or a Stop Card (one dollar in Kudo Kash). |
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Honey
Bee Kind In this game, a child is rewarded for
being kind, patient and courteous to others. Whenever
a child is observed being polite and patient with others
and in general making an effort to be kind and helpful,
they should be reinforced for their positive behavior
and rewarded.
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May
I Be of Service? This game is about asking if
you can help a family member with something like cleaning
up her bedroom or doing the dishes when it's her turn,
or jumping in and voluntarily asking mom if you can help
her fix dinner, etc. When this game is played, everyone
is trying to be helpful to other members of the family.
You can make the game even more profitable by allowing
the child to be of service to two family members or even
to all family members that same day. As with other Heart-to-Heart
games, after this game is played a few times kids begin
to realize that they feel good when they serve and help
others and so being good and serving others soon becomes
reinforcing in itself. |
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Secret
Service This game encourages the children to
do helpful services for others, without recognition. At
the end of the day each child can tell a parent what service
he or she has secretly done for members of the family.
Again, more rewards can be earned if the child is allowed
to do more secret services for more people during the
day. Some kids will beg for more opportunities because
they need more rewards. Gradually, they learn that it
feels good to help others and feeling good by doing the
right thing becomes reinforcing in itself. |
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Put
on a Happy Face This game teaches kids to have
a happy attitude and to be pleasant. Every time a parent
catches a child showing a happy face or good attitude
they can reward him/her. For very young children, who
don't understand the concept of attitude, parents may
want to emphasize the happy or sad yellow faces given
out with the Kudos for Tots game. The happy face cards
with the toddlers game can be used as a reward rather
than Kudo Kash. Smaller children can also be given some
Kudo Kash sometimes even though they have only a limited
sense of its value. They value the .25 cent Kudo Kash
money given to the older kids simply because the older
kids value it. |
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Family
Spirit Having family spirit begins with having
a positive attitude toward all family members and treating
everyone with respect and kindness. It also means sometimes
putting what is best for the family before personal desires
and activities that would draw family members apart. It
helps to strengthen family bonds and unify the family.
When parents see children making personal sacrifices for
the sake of family interests, it needs to be recognized
and rewarded. This is often a huge issue for teens and
should be recognized and rewarded big time when they decide
to go with the family instead of always pulling away from
family activities in order to spend time with their friends
and activities outside the family. Make family activities
fun for your teens. |
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Honoring
Boundaries When mom sees that a child is recognizing
and honoring the rights, space and property of others,
she reinforces that behavior immediately with verbal recognition
and some Kudo Kash too. Things like asking permission
to play with another child's toy, using their radio, or
knocking on a bedroom door before entering, not butting
in when adults or others are talking, etc. are signs that
a child is beginning to understand the concept of boundaries
and how to honor them. During Honoring Boundaries game
day, when the mom sees that a child is not honoring boundaries
(which has probably resulted in some contention) it is
another opportunity to explain boundaries and collect
25 cents in Kudo Kash from any offending children. Obviously
this game must be explained and only played in an age-appropriate
situation. The Take Turns and Share game is more appropriate
for younger children and is prerequisite to understanding
the concept of Boundaries. |
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Positive Strokes
This game develops skills in giving and receiving
positive comments (also known as positive strokes). Learning
how to strengthen and build up others so they feel confident
and good about themselves is extremely important in family
life. Complementing others and finding good things to
say about them builds self-esteem, strengthens personal
relationships and creates a wonderful atmosphere in the
home. Giving a positive stroke makes both the person getting
the positive stroke and the person giving it feel just
great. The opposite side of this game might be that a
person giving a negative stroke (a put-down, criticism
or an insulting, unkind remark) might be required to donate
one or two Kudo Kash dollars to the offended person along
with an apology and a positive stroke; or give them up
to five dollars if they choose not to give them an apology
and a positive stroke. Getting five dollars in Kudo Kash
almost always makes a person feel better after being put
down. |
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Love Notes
(mailbox) Short notes of gratitude and appreciation
left in a mailbox, on a pillow, or on a dinner plate,
etc., have a very positive affect in the home. It focuses
on the positive and lets people know that we love and
appreciate them. Although the Heart to Heart mail center
is an ongoing part of the Kudos for Kids program, the
day the Love Note game is played, more emphasis is put
on writing positive Love Notes to others in the family. |
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SSShhhh Soft
Voices Through this game, parents can teach the
children to speak softly in the home. Speaking softly
lowers the confusion and tension in the home. Children
need to learn that we have indoor voices and outdoor playground
voices and when to use each one. Rewards are given to
the child that speaks softly and is not using an outdoor
playground voice inside the home. There are also other
times when an outdoor voice in not appropriate such as
when we are in a hospital or a church or when dining out
at a restaurant. |
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Magic Words
This game puts emphasis on such magic words as 'May
I?' 'Please.'
'Thank you!.' 'I'm
sorry!' and, 'Please forgive
me, it was my fault!' Whenever a parent
catches a child using such polite magic words, the parent
should immediately acknowledge and reward the behavior
on the spot. 'Thanks John for apologizing and asking
sister to forgive you. That was a huge...Let me give you
a Kudo dollar. Thank you for trying so hard. I really
appreciate you!' |
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Peacemaker
A child who refuses to argue and fight is rewarded when
this game is played. This is a good game to play when
kids are having a hard time getting along. Announce the
game and then reward the child that demonstrates by action
and word that he or she is really trying to get along
and not fight and argue. There is often an aggressor in
sibling confrontations and a quick Kudo dollar or two
given to the child that is trying to avoid a conflict
often has a very sobering effect on the contentious child.
Later, when both children are getting along, the parent
can take notice and reward them both. However, even before
a problem arises, try to catch them being good and give
out some Kudo Kash to reinforce the 'getting along nicely
behavior'. |
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Table Manners
This game focuses on learning good table manners . Once
good table manners have been taught, parents can reward
children for actually using them! Children need to be
taught to set a formal table properly and how to use which
eating utensil with which dish; how to eat soup and to
use a napkin properly. Many parents have become ashamed
to take their kids out to a nice restaurant because the
kids have no manners and eat like pigs. Parents should
teach and help kids practice good table manners at home
and raise kids that have some class. |
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I Love You!
This game teaches children to tell others that
they love them. It is not, "I love you because..."
it is just, "I love you." Love is unconditional! Teaching
and reinforcing this little act of kindness and love will
pay great dividends later. Don't let this become a trite
or a phony expression of love. Use it instead as a genuine
expression of affection. A hug usually goes with this
expression and even a kiss can be appropriate. |
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Volunteers
In this game, parents can tell the children that they
will be given several opportunities that day to earn extra
Kudo Kash so they need to be alert. Children are then
rewarded generously when they jump up and volunteer when
asked to help or better still before they are asked to
helped. Mother gives kids a chance to win the game and
earn a Kudo dollar when just before dinner she calls out,
'Who will help me get dinner ready?' |
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Good Manners
Card: Children need to learn to be courteous
and respectful of others. Boys should be taught to respect
their mothers and sisters. We suggest boys hold open the
door for their mothers and sisters when going into a building.
Opening the car door for mother when she is getting in
and out shows respect. Helping mother into her seat at
the dinner table is a sign of love and respect. In many
circles responding to father with a 'Yes, Sir.' and to
mom with a 'Yes, Maam' is still considered very appropriate
and well mannered. We sugest that you try using 'Sir'
and 'Maam' to show respect for parents. In our 'modern'
society many of us have lost our manners and respect for
each other. Our children reflect their upbringing and
the values of their parents. Raise a child to respect
authority. Too many are boisterous, rude and inconsiderate. |
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Happy Hearts
When we are working, doing what we should and serving
others we feel good inside and have a happy heart, but
when we are lazy, rude and disrespectful and selfish we
do not feel good inside and are miserable. Life is just
that simple, when we do what we know in our hearts is
right, we feel good, but when we do what we know in our
hearts is wrong, we feel unhappy inside. Every day we
have a choice to be happy or sad. So, let's decide to
be happy and help others to be happy! We have choices
in life, and it is just that simple. Keep an uplifting
and positive attitude. Attitude determines our altitude
in life. |
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No Nagging
The purpose of this game is to stop nagging in the home.
Parents are usually the guilty parties but children can
be naggers and whiners too. Parents should not unconsciously
reward nagging by giving into it. Whoever nags, pays a
predetermined amount to the person being nagged. In this
game, as in the No Criticism game, if the nagging does
not stop, the cost of nagging can be raised to two Kudo
dollars, or higher if necessary until the nagging stops. |
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No Arguing
The same as the No Nagging and No Criticizing games: anyone
arguing pays an arguing fee to mom of 50 cents or $1.00
or whatever is appropriate considering the ages involved
and the intensity of the disturbance and frequency of
the problem. |
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No Criticism
The purpose of this game is to eliminate all criticism
from the home, forever. Whenever criticism starts up this
game can be played and in a fun and positive way criticism
can be driven out of the home. When this game card is
posted, any person who is critical of another person must
pay a predetermined fee to the person they criticized.
This game is usually played to stop Mom and Dad from being
critical. Mom and Dad need to set the example. This should
be fun for the kids, so it's OK to let the kids get the
best of Mom and Dad once in a while. Mom and Dad usually
pay one Kudo dollar to the person they have criticized.
If the kids are playing too and are critical of someone
or something, they must also pay a predetermined amount
to the offended party (usually less than Mom and Dad,
maybe a - 25 cents). When someone says, "That was a criticism!"
Mom, Dad, or whoever was critical says something like,
"I'm sorry! That was a criticism. Here please accept
this Kudo dollar as a token of my sorrow." Then the
critical person can hug the person and make several complimentary
remarks to make up for their hurtful criticisms. |
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Parent's Choice
Cards These cards can be used for games the parents
and children wish to create. Every family is different
and has different interests, so be creative and make up
games yourselves that will be fun and teach better behavior
and values. Remember you can create a game around any
concept or value you want your children to develop. Maybe
your family needs to work on patience. So today you put
up the patience game and anyone doing
a good job showing exemplary patience when faced with
frustrating situations or individuals will be given some
extra Kudo Kash. Other possible games might focus on such
values as being reverent, compassionate or gentle.
The possibilities are only limited by your imagination.
NOTE: When you use a Parent's Choice card, please
use a soft crayon or dry erase pen so that the words can
be easily rubbed off and a new game title can be written
in when the card is reused.
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